Tony D, a weathered ex-gangbanger in his late 30’s, finished the last of our mescal, worm and all. He walked over to the stereo, placed in a cassette, and “Bad Company” came pouring out at top volume. Without speaking, he sat down at the heavily damaged dining room table and viciously glared at me, subtly nodding his head, and filling my stomach with terror. Air punches were to follow. Everyone else had left the early gathering to get their highschool I.D. photos taken.
I finished my 40 of Big Bear malt liquor, smoked a bit of marijuana, and stumbled to my car. It was almost 3pm and I had to get to my summer job working in produce at the grocery store. Upon arrival, I immediately passed out for the duration of my shift inside of a watermelon crate.
4-hours later, I returned to the house to find it crawling with gin soaked maniacs. My closest friend, Petey Nines, was slumped over in the bathtub, vomiting out some sort of black, tar-like substance that he assuredly hadn’t ingested. We figured it was pure evil, accumulated from years of wrong doing.
Tony D sat alone in a corner chair, fiddling with his revolver as the foul stench of crack smoke wafted up from the basement.
Alfred Explains Stand-up Comedy To A Burgeoning, Yet Frustrated, Comedian Bruce Wayne
Master Wayne, when some men start in comedy, if they’re funny, it’s like they’ve been placed in a room made of drywall, and told to break themselves out. Sure, it’s difficult, but after a short while they prevail, and while breaking through the wall they think to themselves, “That wasn’t too hard, I can do this.”
However, on the other side of that room, they find a another room with walls, a ceiling, and a floor made of brick. Now, some men, the one’s with their heads on straight, will retreat back through the hole from whence they came to find more comfortable successes.
But some men, some men, well, they just can’t wait to start pounding and scratching on that brick until their hands bleed to the bone.
Because they think of it as good sport. Because some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. Yes, some of them can be bought, bullied, reasoned, and negotiated with. But some of the men, just want to watch the world burn.